Introduction

We're still confused as to whether or not this is a traditional wedding or not, and to when this happens in the timeline of the courtship. By all intents and purposes, western thought would say the introduction (which must happen before marriage) would happen at the beginning of the courtship, kind of like a really expensive engagement party. But, for almost all the people we have talked to, this is not the case. The couple that was being introduced had been together for 14 years and already had 2 children. The wedding is in June. Right.

What is an introduction, you might ask? In a nutshell, it is a formal gathering where the woman introduces the man she will marry to her family. It happens at the home of the woman's parents, in formal traditional wear, involves a lot of humor, jokes, and trickery, as well as the paying of the dowry by the man and a wedding type cake accompanied by a feast at the end. Quite an experience!

Lasting over 8 hours, I will just give you my personal realizations.

#1 Ugandans are freaking hilarious. The whole entire event was based on humor. I have noticed this at school too – they are always teasing, making fun, laughing, and being sarcastic. I love it. I didn't get half of the jokes because they revolved around things like "his head is now like the knees of a goat" (roars of laughter from the whole audience, silence from the three Mzungus), but I could tell that the point of the event is to get together and enjoy an evening of "rucous" entertainment based. The woman's side waits for the man's side to arrive – in this case 2 hours late. A penalty for which they are "fined". These fines are all part of the show and all part of the expected dowry. The woman's side seeks out every opportunity to fine the man's side, like sitting before being told they can sit, or wearing sunglasses, or drinking before being told to drink, or not knowing the Ugandan national anthem. With all the questions from the woman's side to the man's, you would have thought we were at an African game of Jeopardy.

#2 They do it right in Uganda. Men should have to pay for the wedding.

#3 I absolutely love to take pictures. And I took way too many. They even made a joke about how I was an American journalist. And then everyone wanted to get in a picture with us.

I can't begin to explain the whole process. It's too involved and includes too many players, with the bride and groom hiding from everyone and each other, people having to guess who is who, etc.

My favorite parts were these:

All of the single women from the "house" (all kinds of crazy relatives) parade in front of the man's party (sitting on the opposite side of the yard from the woman's) in their best gomases (traditional wear for women), best makeup and hair done perfectly. This is so that all the single men can see what is currently on the market. They do the same with the men (also wearing traditional dress which looks dangerously close to muslim garb). I found this to be quite amusing. J

Getting up in front of the whole 300+ people and saying "Thank you for having us, my name is Hollie Pollan" in Luganda, and having the whole group erupt in surprise and content that a mzungu was speaking their language.

The bringing in of the dowry. WOW!!!!!! All of the women from the man's side went out to collect the dowry, which they brought in on their heads in a single file line, one right after the other, that lasted more than 15 minutes. It was gorgeous. The men carried the heavy things, like bunches of matooke (green bananas), giant bags of flour and sugar, a carcass of a cow, crates of coke, and a whole living room set of furniture. The groom also paid 2 cows, 3 goats, and one cock. You would not have believed the booty this lady raked in! Richard the translator said the woman's parents would share all the dowry with extended family, friends and neighbors. There is no way they could eat all that food.

Lessons learned: Everything takes longer than you imagine in Uganda. When the back right wheel of the car is making a funny sound like the wheel is about to fall off, it's because it's about to fall off. No matter where you go, someone will always ask you to take them back to the US with you.